Times Wastes Too Fast →
Email from My Super Awesome Dad:
Hey Rachel, just a couple of reasons why I’m proud of you (not an exhaustive list): - You show up every day at a job that is sometimes boring and not much fun. That’s hard to do. - You are brilliant, creative, talented, and funny. I have never once in my life doubted that. I didn’t need the fall semester to prove you could do well at college. I didn’t need to see you in...
A Modest Proposal
funsizebytes: I put a DVD into the player I start a stopwatch I navigate all the menus I wait for all the various “advertisements” telling me about the sound mastering, the FBI warning, and so forth The movie actually begins I stop the stopwatch. I take that stopwatch to the home of some executive connected with the MPAA and count off those seconds. While holding his (or her—I’m all...
Earning His Sarcasm Bonus
Tech Director: Are you going to be here tomorrow?
Coworker: Yeah, why?
Tech Director: Well, you're going to be getting a new monitor.
Coworker: Oh! . . . Is it smaller?
Tech Director: Yeah, we thought you could really use something more portable. In fact, we're hiring a twelve-year-old boy to carry it around for you, too.
Maybe we should develop a Crayola bomb as our next secret weapon. A happiness...– Robert Fulghum (via amplequotes)
You’re movies...– DM sent to the @LOTR account on Twitter, which will earn this guy a punch in the face from the @GrammarNazi account
Welcome to Scott Wade's Dirty Car Art! →
mikemotorcade: Holy crap! How can you be this freaking awesome!? Look at the picture of the guy who does this stuff. He is the definition of bad ass. Warning: Anti-Comic-Sans eyewear is needed to view this site. Other than that, it’s a pretty awesome idea. (Don’t tell my mom, but I wrote “clean me” in the dust on our kitchen table a week ago, and she still...
"Weapon of Choice" (Fatboy Slim) →
Christopher Walken, proving that he can dance your face off. via my office roomie, who decided that we needed a pick-me-up on Friday afternoon
Whats your favorite irrational number? Since we are being irrational, what color...– Traditional slew of questions from Pimp, who sends the best emails ever.
Sound barricades itself into rolls of peanut butter when you speak.– The Surrealist Compliment Generator (which actually wrote “peautbutter,” not “peanut butter,” if you must know)